The Non-Conversaton-Makers
They are everywhere: a plague of people, a race of people who may very well just stop humanity in its tracks. Dead. Who are these people who have no excuses and should only show shame and woe as punishment for their awful behaviour?
Why, they are the non-conversation-makers, of course. Those who will stop at nothing to make the world a mute and lonely place.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I like my privacy as much as anyone, but sometimes there is reason to talk. Such as when you arrive at the train station to find that someone has painted Lorraine Kelly’s face all massive on a train. That wasn’t what made me laugh, however. No, what made me laugh was the fact that she was both a) topless and b) …not quite as attractive as she is in real life.
So there I was laughing, but soon, as I looked left and right to see what the other passengers made of it, I realised the horrifying reality of it: nobody was laughing. Everyone else just stared blankly. I felt like I was the only laughing man left alive!
I would have understood this if the graffiti said something illegible like Ascis Gel Kayano or something, but no, it was Lorraine Kelly, enormous with her bare chest on show at the station.
Come on people, we all need to learn to let ourselves go a bit more in public! Not as much as Lorraine, maybe, but more than we are.
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