Sucked In
London: I love the place. It is one of the greatest cities in the world, a thriving nucleus of culture and a fantastic influence on the rest of our Great United Kingdom. There is only one problem with London: once it grabs people it sucks them in and you can’t get them out alive how they used to be, they are SOILED.
Take my friend Jake for example… Before he left to work at a London public relations company, he despised tight jeans, hated bands which did anything remotely similar to bands in the eighties, and generally was a bit of a pain to take anywhere because of his strong and often offensive opinion. Fast forward to last weekend and it’s a different story. I met Jake at Oxford Circus. Except I didn’t think I had met Jake, I thought I had met someone who looked absurdly like Jake, to the point that this guy standing before me had to be related. Which would be unlikely seeing as Jake had no brothers or sisters and I was sure of that. “You’re not Jake’s long lost brother are you?” I said, and I felt I had to speak because he kept looking at me funny. He said, “yeah, course I am!” Then there was just plain awkwardness and he stared at me and I wanted to punch him. “Leave me alone will you mate?” I said, and as I started to walk past him he grabbed me by the arm and laughed just like Jake! Then I realized. “What the hell happened to your hair..and your jeans…and your face?” I asked. “This awful…an awfully big change I mean…”He looked like a small feral boy who had fallen in to a washing machine and accidentally gone to the hairdressers and piercing place on the way home, all confused as you would be. “I am London!” he said, “you like it?” I didn’t dare tell him my opinion. Plus I was too busy crying inside. That’s what I mean by sucked in. London will keep doing it forever, so have your wits about you and warn all your friends.
Comments are closed!